Are you serious?

This blog was my first honest shot in life at not being a negative a-hole, and it lasted like 2 months. So without further ado...

Like five years ago I was in Deseret Book buying a birthday present for my dad, and I happened upon the CD "Not Your Mother's LDS Music". I don't even know if I really need to go on, but I'm going to anyway. I picked it up and looked at it and kind of shook my head, but just forgot about it. Over the weekend, I passed the LDS book section at Wal-Mart, and there was the same cd...only this time volume 3! And just for the people who might read this and confuse my hatred of anything along these lines as blasphemy, please PLEASE understand that you are an idiot.

So exactly what LDS music isn't my "mother's" LDS music I wondered? Have there been any recent changes to doctrine since my mom last listened to LDS music? Did someone at Seagull Book sign the Dead Kennedys? What is it that makes THIS cd so much more youth friendly than all the others? Because to look at the track listing on the back, I've got Kenneth Cope, an Osmond, and a bunch of other crap that I'm 90% sure contains banjo.

Every time I see something like this, my mind immediately goes to some marketing brainstorming session...

"We just aren't capturing the 14 year old demographic... how do we make religion more cutting edge?"

"Why don't we say that its NOT music your lame LDS parents would like, make a cover with punk rock letters, and write KILLER PRICE in the corner?"

"Genius!"

Really? Is some stoner kid in a trenchcoat ever going to pick that up, give it a listen, and have his life changed because of the way they snuck it past the goal? The fact of the matter is, I have never given it a listen and I already KNOW it's music that my mom would like. How do I know? Because it's LDS music!

I think the exact same thing that I thought when my mom bought me a John Bytheway book one year where the author keeps making references to stuff that kids can really get behind like "pizza" and "sports". Any kid that would read John Bytheway in the first place is already a pretty hardcore Mormon kid. He's already loves Cougar football and is going on a mission. And there's nothing wrong with it. I just don't know what benefit there is to dressing this stuff up as hip.

In conclusion, I know that I'm a terrible person. But if you ever buy this cd for ANY reason, you are way way worse.